Slightly based on Timbo’s Guardians and Demons. I was going to write an ultra-dark parody/satire of G&D, but then… Oh, and – Ellie read this. And thought the ending was lacking. And wrote hers, which I’ll put at the end. Anyway…

-

Aptitude

Alice is shaking with excitement and a little bit of fear. Apprehension? Maybe. She knows she’ll do okay on the Profile – she looked at the Wikipedia page, and it told her exactly what was going to happen.

Yay!

So she sits down, and listens to the old dude, and starts to fill in the boxes. After a while, she gets bored.
But wait! There’s an extra sheet of paper! It’s got stuff on it, like a questionnaire. Alice looks around – only a few people have this extra sheet. It’s a very shiny sheet which literally glows with happiness.

She fills it in.

Which element do you feel most closely affiliated with? says the first question.

Alice thinks for a bit, and then she writes in ‘Argon’. It’s a very noble gas, you know, refusing to react to the happenings of the lower atom forms. That doesn’t sound like Alice at all, but no element sounds like Alice.

Alice is Alice!

Do you feel the need to do good? the second question ponders.

‘Nope!’ Alice cheerfully proclaims. But, that sounds bad. So she crosses it out and writes a humongous ‘YES!’

It’s always good to agree with examiners, you know. Otherwise, the world won’t be saved and that would be very bad.

What is your favourite colour? Would you die for your friends? How many friends do you have? And so on.

Being an extremely smart and modest little girl, Alice fills them all. Then she goes back to the ordinary test and does that. It’s more boring than the glowing paper, though.

-

After looking at the paper and making disapproving clucking noises, the careers counsellor decides to speak.

“Alice, you have to save the world.”

This wasn’t at all what Alice was expecting. “Why?” she said.

“The results from the Morrisby Careers Profile states that you have the optimum capabilities to become a Hero.” The career counsellor sighs. “There are many classes of Hero, such as being a Superhero or a Guardian of an element. I would suggest you go for training at the John Batman School for Heroes promptly.”

“I wanted to be a scientist!” protested Alice. “I don’t want to save lives, I want to invent cool things! Or be a movie director. Or- or something else!”

A new thought suddenly occurs to her. “Wait, don’t Heroes need to have a tragic or life-affirming experience before they can become Heroes? Same as Villains?”

“Yes, that is the criteria for modern Heroes, as well as having a steely resolve and an interesting personality.” The careers counsellor peers over her stereotypical glasses, owllike. “Alice, this is a job some people have literally killed for. It is an opportunity of a lifetime.”

“I know it is,” Alice says, and that’s true. The heroics of the Heroes have captivated the entire world for generations – at least eighty years! Ever since the Mad Mandrill came from the heavens and battled against the Primal Demon in Times Square, the number of Heroes wielding unnecessary capitals in their names increased.

“Just think of the good you could do,” the counsellor pleads. “Just-”

And it’s that, it’s the smug tone in the counsellor’s voice that leaves her ready to scream.

“I refuse to save people from their sins!”

An frosted silence settles on everything. Alice licks the sugary coating off her lips and stands up, hands on hips. The words that she planned to say to the counsellor aren’t coming, so she storms off in a huff.

It seems unnecessarily melodramatic, but as the careers counsellor noted later, it was the perfect exit for a Hero.

-

The beach is an awesome storming off spot, so Alice goes there and quietly fumes. Two other people are fuming as well. It is a pretty awesome frustration spot, but it’s her frustration spot, so she marches up to the two.

She asks them why they’re annoyed and prepares herself to give them a sound scolding, because this is hers and-

One of the boys, the one who looked older, looked at her with bleary eyes. Says something about racing, about little brothers and disinterest, he speaks with his posture and his eyes and his face. He has to look after the brother he doesn’t like, without parents to alleviate anything. Whatever.

She decides to let the two stay on her beach, mainly because the boy’s troubles make her feel cool.

But suddenly – ahh! A highly improbable gust of wind gusts around. It tries to knock the boy off the beach, but ends up slamming into Alice and pushing her into the water,

“Glub glub!” she says frantically, before inflating her life jacket and rising from the deeps. But then, something grabs onto her leg and pulls her-

down, down, into the crushing dark, the water fills her and she chokes.

To the tune of her dying, she can hear a voice ask her about herself. About the other boy, and in a hazy way she thinks about Heroes and Villains. The voice continues the long and lengthy interrogation.

She drowns slowly, mainly because the voice is a dick and because, if she can’t be a Hero, she has to be expendable.

It’s the way the world works.

And then… something grasps her, the voice stops and it’s awesome.

She’s being pulled out. It’s an awakening and a resurrection all at once, and it’s wonderful. Because, well, just now she was dying and dying is never good.

But death is good. Death is wonderful and terrible, because while it’s the ending of a thinking mind it also frees up space for other thinking minds to exist in the void of the world.

Such are the things that a fevered mind considers in the dark of the deeps.

With a sudden, heavy jerk, the hands grasp her and pull her – out, out. The sand is rough and grimy and real under her cheek, heaving with the choked breath of her lungs. She’s moving, she’s moving, she’s alive and it’s so-

glorious!

“Alice,” the counsellor says, and Alice laughs because it’s the way the world works.  Guardians protect people, gravity is a force and the last important person in a story is usually introduced earlier. Narrative, she thinks in a giddy way.

A cough, a hack, she’s better now. “I’m still not going to Batman School, even though I just had a tragic but life-affirming experience.”

So says the counsellor, “I know.”

“Then why did you save me?”

And then a smile, and then the end. It’s a terrible answer, and Alice would like to kick the counsellor at the revelation of it, but it still works.

“Because.”

-

And then Alice becomes a hero and protects all the sorbet in the world,

And the annoying counsellor dies,

The End

And for those who attend the school – you probably know who the main characters are.

Teachers in Hippieville

This story begins with two English Teachers going to Hippieville. Of course, it wasn’t literally Hippieville, as it was Daylesford, but there were enough hippies there. There was a wide range of hippies: caravan hippies, spa hippies, smoking hippies, high hippies, stoned hippies and other kinds for the hippie-conscious buyer.

There were even fortune telling hippies, and that is where we find our two teachers. In a hippie house, having a hawk at the habits of the hip hippies. There was a sign outside the house, beckoning all those who wanted to know their future. Who’d want to know, though? Would you want to know that you’d get knocked down by a car in three weeks, and that you can’t do anything? Or would you like a fake prophetess with that coffee?

Anyway. They went in, and saw a huge purple veil. It was wearing a be-bangled hippie fortune teller. She had bangles everywhere, hanging off her arms and legs, and don’t get me started on the necklaces. It was amazing that she didn’t fall through the floor, with how much metal she was wearing. Maybe she was setting off security airport gates one hour and thirty minutes drive away.

She had cards. Tarot cards, to be precise. Technically, cards like these are more suited for games and it is the English who divine, but never mind this tangent. She draws the cards: a queen with a sunflower and a staff, four angels looking upon a wheel, a lady in a chariot with two sphinxes.

You will be the principal person, it is said. Or was it principle? The latter made sense.

One of the teachers, the one with the glasses (but both of them have glasses, and many people have glasses, myself included, and I rather enjoy wine glasses) was rather happy. Almost too happy to be true. In teenage parlance, she might almost be high.

Oh dear.

When people are drunk, or high, or drugged, or in that really-happy-I-can-just-scream mood, they often speak nonsense. That was what the teacher did. She expounded upon just how she would become the principal of the school. As the other teacher frowned and shook her head and blamed the hippies’ food, the teacher talked about the new science building and swansongs.

Because, apparently, before they go (both in that way and the literal sense), principals often build a new building on the school grounds. And name it after themselves. Of course, everyone is a bit hubristic, but you would think that if this practice is true, there would be more buildings in our school than what we need! Just imagine, we could have one English building, one Maths building… but I digress.

And then… what happened? I’m supposed to recount what happens next, but nothing really happened, not really. They drove homewards, with a ton of hippie goods in the back. One of the teachers had a sneaking suspicion that the really beautiful cakes had just a tiny bit of something extra – not to offend those nice hippies, mind you, wonderful folk, yes. They did taste great.

The science building is still unnamed, the headmistress is still there and the teacher still is obviously a principled person because she hasn’t done anything yet. Except tell her story to a bunch of young teenagers, who aren’t really young anymore. It was a good story, though quite a few teens did groan a bit at having to continue it. Myself included.

She’s got principles, I grant you that – and maybe principals, too. Both teachers.

In other news, Imma thinking I will change the theme and the name of this blog.  I’ve also updated the Stories page to include the FourFiction stories.

As you all know, I have just been to Canada. I didn’t see any moose (or meese), but there were tons of Canadian Geese and quite a few squirrels, and tons of photos. And yeah, I will post photos on a certain thread.

I also went to New York, and guess who I saw in real life? Starla! Yay, that was an awesome day.

But anyway, I wrote something based on real life recently. A very short vignette that will go well with any grape juice you will be drinking today. I also wrote a prompt-based story, but that can wait for the Four Island Fiction Archive [yay!].

And no offence to anybody!

Anticipation

They had waited for it for many years.  Their eyes feasted hungrily on its surface, hands trembling in anticipation. This was the moment, this was the time!

Snarling at each other, they circled the prize warily. Who would be the first to grab the sacred reward? Who would even dare to make a lunge for it, while everyone stared?

This was the moment, this was the time! Was this fated to be a stalemate forever more? Oh, if only one could rush forward and take it! When that would happen, they would all rear up as a group and punish the hasty one, and then after that… they will brawl for the sacred prize, with many casualties and possibly fatalities.

Tension was thick in the air, hatred and misery boiled in the steaming fury – and then one girl stepped forward and clasped it with her slender hands.

She sped off! Running for her life, she had only just made it across the safeline when the rest of the hopefuls realized what had happened. A collective groan echoed in the shopping mall, complete with complaints. And then, everyone turned to watch the next copy of the sacred prize.

In the meantime, the girl opened the box with eager hands. She tore open the wrapping, quickly scanned the manual, her heart beating… She placed the CD into the drive, watched anxiously as the program loaded…

And then she spat. It was nothing as she expected! The programmers had did everything wrong! Her feelings were hurt – all that for nothing?

Damn! She’d never buy from that shop again! First thing tomorrow, she’d return it – it was only what the CD deserved.

Yay, Four Island’s up – and I have chosen to celebrate by posting the 9/10 page long monstrousity that is the story I have been working on during the holidays. It’s vaguely related to the True Falsities plot, and is rather… strange. Oh, and I just randomly added the colours.

So… presenting:

Welcome to TF Land

….

A bird flies overhead, tweeting. Somewhere in the distance, a car screeches to a halt. A little Fourie hops around at your feet, looking cute. You really could do with these things at the moment. These things are soothing, calming… unlike that death-machine-with-wings right behind. You turn to glare at the pilot, but he just waves at you.

“Oh, don’t worry, he’s new to the Island,” someone says behind you. You whirl around to see a girl. She’s wearing a shirt with some kind of pink thing on it and she has a friendly expression.

“Hi,” you say. You’re still kinda frazzled as you introduce yourself to the girl. Now, why did the pilot have to go so freaking fast? You knew you should have picked the boat trip.

“My name’s Starla Insigna and I’m the Lady Queen Mistress of Four Island,” she says with a big grin. “Welcome to Four Island!”

….

It had been a boring day. You were sitting at home, looking around on the Internet for something to do… when you came across an interesting site.

“Bored? Travel to metaphysical islands for some fun and adventures!”

After clicking around, you see a page detailing the so-called ‘Metaphysical Islands’. Hmm… The Isle of Sushi? The Archipelago of Ants? Most of these sound very… weird. Besides, how can you travel to a metaphysical island? Didn’t the word ‘metaphysical’ mean something that didn’t really exist? Who even cared?

As you go to click off the site, one link catches your eye. ‘Four Island’.

….

“What are we waiting for?” you ask. You and Starla are sitting on a bench outside the ‘airport’ and you’re getting bored. It was amazing how bored you got after that airplane ride…

“We’re waiting for the bus, and there it is!” A rather battered bus comes around the bend. It stops with a rattling shudder, the noise sending chills up your spine. And the wheels… were they covered in blood?

“All aboard!” The bus driver opens the door. He’s a teenager with a shirt with something that looks like a blue monkey on it. Why were they letting teenagers drive buses? Does he even have a driving license? You climb aboard and sit in a decaying seat. It makes a squishy sound as you sit down. Ick.

“This is Bluemonkey, Four Island’s resident bus driver!” Starla chirps. “Blu, don’t drive too fast, our guest-”

“You came on the plane?” Bluemonkey [what a strange name!] interrupts. “Ooh, Ozzyfrog can overdo the plane tricks at times.”

You ask if that’s the pilot’s name. If it is, no wonder he was wearing that frog shirt.

“Yes. He’s one of my friends and with Tamesis, we go out raiding for pantyh- oops!” Bluemonkey turns to the wheel and starts the bus. He ignores any further questions about pantyhosen and ninja hideouts and solely focuses on…

“Look out!” you shriek as a random passerby runs out in front of the bus. The bus does a sharp turn to avoid it and the vehicle leans to the side, the whole right side in the air.

Well, this was going to be a looong journey…

….

The office of the Metaphysical Travel Agency seems… weird. It’s got a strange atmosphere, that’s for sure. Like you’re breathing in lollipops.

“Sew, yu want too go too For Island?” The lady’s speech is very weird as well. It seems like she’s talking in homophones – words that sound alike.

You reply in the affirmative.

“Well, yu wheel have too syn dis fourm.” She pushes a piece of paper towards you and fixes you with a stare. “Hand eet back wen possible an we ken mek teh arrangement.”

You thank her and try not to inhale a lollipop as you exit the room.

….

As the bus draws to a stop, you stumble out of the bus and attempt to not to throw up. “Have a nice tour!” Bluemonkey says as he drives away, probably to disembowel another random passerby.

“Here we are!” Starla says happily as she skips ahead in front of you.

You look around and see a large building. It looks very ominous. All that barbed wire and locks! Timidly, you ask Starla where you are.

“We’re at the prison, where the majority of Four Island’s residents live. Well, most of them moved out recently…” She walks up to the guard and talks to him. A few seconds later, the gates open with a loud clang. You nervously walk inside, worried that something might jump out at you.

The first cell you see is heavily padded with a large lock. Starla opens the door and beckons you inside into a… this is weird.

The walls are papered with lots of pictures featuring some sort of anime. A lot of them feature this girl and a fluffy thing, and some have this girl and this guy… kissing?

“Umi umi umi umi umi umi!” A shout pierces your thoughts. You turn to see a boy staring at you. He’s holding a fistful of some sort of cards, and there’s something weird around the TV in the corner. “I am a dreamer, hisomu pawaa, watashi no sekai, yume to koi to fuande dekiteru, demo souzo omo shinai mono, kakure teru hazu!” he sings loudly. “Cardcaptor Sakura!” Then, he suddenly springs up and stares at you. “Do you like Cardcaptor Sakura?” he demands.

You stare at the insane boy for a second before saying that you don’t really know what it is.

“You’re insane! Cardcaptor Sakura is the best!” Before he can overwhelm you with more Cardcaptor Sakura goodness, you quickly say that you’re busy and you need to do… stuff. As you exit the room, you notice a man in the corner rocking backwards and forwards.

“Who’re they?” you ask Starla.

“Oh, that’s Timbo94 and Bob Michigan. The insane asylum needed to be renovated, so they were moved here. What do you think of Timbo94?” she asks, smiling.

“He was… rather obsessed with that… Cardcaptor Sakura thing?” And what a strange name, you think to yourself.

“He can be rather confronting, but he’s a sweet boy.” You notice a small smirk on Starla’s face as she says this, and you make a note of it.

The rest of the cells seem to be empty, except for quite a few. Starla opens another one and pushes you in, before mumbling something about “Lady Queen Mistress business” and running off.

“3.14159265358979323846… Do you like Pi? Ooh, the fourth dimension! You explode when you get there, you know! ”

Great. Another crazy.

….

Now, getting to the Metaphysical Airport/Dock was not such an easy task. The directions made no sense, either. “Get out of the car when you see the Mt. Rushmore Cats” “Bow down to the Spirits of the Darkness” “Dance the Dance of the Turkey” “You must defeat the Spirit Wolf”?! This was insane – if you weren’t so mindnumingly bored, you’d turn back home immediately.

Now… what was the next step? “Walk on Water”? This was insane…

….

“Doot, doot, doot, doot! Pi! 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510582097494459230… ”

You’re still trapped in this cell with… this guy. He’s rather weird. He can say smileys and he keeps rambling on about weird stuff. After a while of his rambling, you fall asleep and you dream that you’re in front of a computer, looking at a website and…

“Hey, Smiley, did you send another one to sleep? Wake up, wake up, the tour isn’t over yet…” Something grabs your shoulder and shakes it violently. You open your eyes and see Starla looking at you.

Later, you and Starla have left Smiley’s cell and are walking down the corridor as Starla points out the various inmates.

“There’s fake Smiley, the lion that ate Drifty… I wonder if she’s eaten or not today? And that’s the postman who took bribes from Drifty!”

You wonder why Starla’s giving you a guided tour of the prison, but you can’t really complain.

“And here’s the guy who hacked into TimTam’s brain…”

A few minutes later, a door at the end of the prison opens and you run out into the bright sunlight. Finally, fresh air! Starla looks at you with a smile, and cheerfully exclaims, “Now I’m going to show you the neighbourhood! I wonder if TimTam’s still in house arrest?”

Now, who was this person named after a chocolate? After an hour of walking, you get your answer.

“TimTaaaaam!” Starla calls as she stops in front of a house on Lovely Links Street. Suddenly, a window opens and a person pokes his head out.

“Starla?” ‘TimTam’ asks, almost disbelievingly.

“We have a guest!” Starla says.

You’re just about to introduce yourself when something flashes across your vision. It has its arm outstretched and a finger extended in a… poke?

“TIIMTAAAAAM!” the girl shouts. She runs into the house, and just one second later you see her next to ‘TimTam’, poking him. Then, quick as a flash, she disappears.

And you’re just left there, gaping at how fast the girl was.

“Oh, Pyro…” Starla says, smiling. Suddenly, she grabs your arm and you’re dragged into the house, up the stairs and into TimTam’s room. In here, you can see a few computers, including some dissected ones. Lines of unreadable type scroll across the screen. TimTam must evidently be a computer person.

Starla darts across the room and pokes TimTam. He doesn’t seem to be very… bothered. In fact, he pokes her back.

You stare at them. This was… rather weird. Falteringly, you ask them why they poke each other, and why TimTam is in house arrest.

“My name’s actually Tamesis Lucien, but ever since Drifty called me TimTam…” The teenager smiles ruefully [Tamesis Lucien didn’t seem like a strange name, like Drifty]. “And…”

“He doesn’t want to talk about the Feedburner Fiasco,” Starla interrupts. “It was rather a fiasco, too. If he didn’t have such long legs, he’d have been in jail! Now, let’s continue the tour.”

“But why did… Pyro and yourself poke Tamesis?”

Starla shrugs, and with that you’re hustled out of the house.

….

Sometimes you feel you’re in a dream, other times a nightmare. You can see wolves lurking in the corner of your eyes, rats behind the walls, ghosts in the distance. A girl with a ribbon in her hair at her computer, her eyes smiling, sparkles around her. She clicks her finger and something happ-

Wait.

You’re hallucinating. You really need to get out more. Well, at least the Metaphysical Airport is in sight now.

….

“So we’ve seen TimTam in his house, Bluemonkey and Ozzyfrog are out, Atlantic Slamon only comes here once in a blue moon… And this is Lovely Links Street. Next we have Affiliating Avenue, then… hey, it’s JAL!”

A tall boy is standing in front of a bunch of closets. He salutes Starla, then notices you. “Hello random stranger! Want a closet? We have prime closets!”

“Uh…” you say helpfully.

“After Drifty and Smiley were locked in closets by evil people, I decided to do something to combat the closet locking phenomenon! So, with my Confidently Complete Closet Creators, I created Completely Comfortable Closets that can protect you from Cats, Cushions and Koalas!” He gives you two thumbs up and continues with his tirade.

“My closets store food for up to umpteen thousand days! No more Baby Food Ploopsies for Smiley. Also, they come with an emergency phone, extra batteries and a guarantee that if you like what we sell, you’ll get your money back! So, what do you think?” JAL looks at you expectantly.

You stare at him and attempt to explain that you really aren’t interested in his closets.

“But who can be? Here’s our number: 4 14 13 20 – 2 21 25 – 14 21 18 – 19 21 6 6!”

“JAL, we really need to be going now. I’m sure our guest will buy one of your closets soon,” Starla says quickly. She grabs your arm [again] and drags you away from JAL.

A few second later… “Hey, look, that’s Timbo94!”

The boy from the prison is walking around the cul-de-sac with a bunch of posters under his arm. You expect to see Cardcaptor Sakura stuff, but on closer inspection, you see that they’re of… a woman with blond hair? “Hey, what happened to Cardcaptor Sakura?”

“I now like… TAYLOR SWIFT! TAYLOR SWIFT!” He starts singing something… “But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, She’s cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers, Dreaming bout the day when you’ll wake up and find, That what you’re lookin for has been here the whole time.. “

You turn to Starla, but she’s singing along as well, and dancing! And as they dance, you’re wondering about how quickly Timbo could get released from prison.

“If you could see that I’m the one who understands you,
Been here all along so why can’t you see?
You belong with me,
You belong with me!”

It’s a good song, admittedly, but it’s kinda… weird that here, people just randomly break out into song.. and poke each other… and…

You’re just watching the two groove out when two shapes burst out of the bush. They’re dressed in ninja costumes and are Bluemonkey and Ozzyfrog.

“Desist, Taylor Swift fangirls!” Bluemonkey commands.

“Taylor Swift has been all over the island for days!” Ozzyfrog adds. “It’s time for something new!”

“Nooooooo! I WILL EAT YOU!” Suddenly, Starla starts singing something and Taylor Swift herself descends from the skies.

“Taylor Swift, we love you!” Timbo94 says. “Sammi, Pyro, switch on the sound system! Oh, and Bluemonkey? I AM NOT A GIRL!”

Two girls appear out of nowhere and set up a stage. At the same time, Ozzyfrog and Bluemonkey are setting up a stage of their own. As all this is going on, on the side you’re just standing there and looking extremely puzzled.

A girl walks up to you and stands there. “Are they fighting over Taylor Swift again?” she asks.

You say that you don’t really know.

“Ah, that’s why you’re not joining in. I like some Taylor Swift songs, but I don’t really want to join in… And you must be new, right?”

“Yeah, I’m new,” you say.

“Well, I’m Drifty, and… you’re new? Oh my god, run for your life!” A haunted look immediately appears in her eyes. “Run, before they get you!” And with that, she disappears, leaving you just standing there, bemused.

Taylor Swift strums a note on her guitar and all the fans sigh in unison. In contrast, the nonfans [which are just Ozzyfrog, Bluemonkey and… Smiley? How did he get out of prison?] start singing something else. All the Taylor Swift fans start booing, and all the nonfans huddle in a small group. After a while, the nonfans spread out in a group and summon some singers they consider good, like Joe Cocker, Avril Lavigne and others.

“THAT’S NOT FAIR!” yell all the Taylor Swift fans. “YOU DON’T EVEN LIKE AVRIL!” And with that, the entire group is launched into a Battle of the Bands type thing.

….

Walking into the Metaphysical Airport is a very surreal experience. The counter lady is a fish on two legs, a chimpanzee is chatting to an ostrich and three wise old men are staffing the McDonalds.

You wander around, until you bump into a woman dejectedly holding up a Four Island sign. After chatting a bit, the woman gives you two choices: by airplane or the boat trip.

“They only introduced the airplane option recently, as only recently they got a pilot,” the woman says. “The boat is rather established, but I personally wouldn’t go on it…”

“Why not?” you ask.

“The skipper is a weird person called Creepy Witch Dude. I have no idea who named him, but he’s rather… creepy.”

“Who’s the pilot?”

“I’m not sure. He’s rather new, apparently, and there’s this rule…”

“What rule?”

“Never say a word beginning with ‘Air’ to him.”

And this is how your story begins.

….

“So, what next?” Starla asks.

You’re still rather stunned from the impromptu Battle of the Bands. The oppositions played… fast. And rough. Wow. That completely blew you off – and Starla isn’t even worried about anything. The people are still packing up the stands, and all the singers have disappeared.

“What next? There’s only one more person to meet, and she’s coming this way… with bubbles!”

A girl with brown hair bounces up to you. She doesn’t say anything, just batting at the fluorescent bubbles circling her. With a giggle, Sammi9494 skips off with her bubbles.

“Okay, you’ve met all the Four Islanders. Do you want to go home now?” Starla asks.

“Uhh… I’m not sure I want to go by plane or by boat…” you say. “And that bus…”

Starla smiles mysteriously. “Then, you may not have to!” She clicks her fingers, and…

….

Everything suddenly swirls away. The sound of a click rings in your ears, and you’re sitting at a computer, looking at a website. The title ‘Four Island’ seems familiar to you… maybe it was from that freaky dream.

You must have fallen asleep while browsing the internet. You stand up and stretch, and in your mind’s eye you can see a girl laughing, a girl clicking her fingers with a bow in her hair…

But maybe it’s just your imagination.

But what can I post about? The swimming carnival last week, where we poked TimTam 48923009480234 times? Or the Open Day where Mr. Skepper was totally not cool? Or Slumdog Millionaire and the sleepover at Sam’s house where they painted my nails black and made my hair all poofy? Or the fact that they now want to do unimaginable things to my hair now?

I’ll start with the Open Day, as the only notable thing in the carnival was the fact TimTam nearly got bruised by our pokage.

Okay… I had to play in a band in the morning, and Mr. Skepper was talking to the audience and was ‘picking’ on us [the section of my instrument which, if you're reading this, you should know and if you don't GO AWAY RANDOM STRANGER] which he doesn’t usually as the three Sax’s (who are… funny and include Ben) get more flak and I really need to breathe now as this is a runon sentance which is bad in English Class. *breathe*

Then I had 30 min break, in which I found TimTam dissecting a computer, found Pyro walking around, found a giant cookie that needed to be eaten and found TimTam again with Pyro, which predictably lead to a poking spree.

And then I had science, where I was in charge of dissecting a smelly slamon! Oops, not Atlantic Slamon, a carp [would get in trouble if I dissected a student, but I was tempted...]. The good thing was that this guy who had taken 2 hours to dissect it had dissected most of it. Bad thing was the crowd of Y7s who were all like “Can I poke it? Can I touch the eye? Can I burst the air bladder? EEEEWWWWWW YOU’RE TOUCHING IT!”. I was accompanied by this Y7, though, which was good as she knew the annoying Y7s.

A memorable line: Student: “Can I dissect it?” Her: “I’ll dissect you!” *waves scalpel at student*

I was certainly tempted. Oh, and if you came around and saw the gills floating in a jar, IT WAS MEE. I took the gill out [to the cries of “EEEWWW YOU’RE TOUCHING IT”] and put it in a little plate, then Ms. A**l put the gill into the jar where it floofed up. So if you saw it, yay!

Then I had freeeee time. Pyro had to go, so I was alone until I found Timbo94, then he had to go, then my parents came and yaay.

Okay, you can find out about the sleepover at Sammi’s blog, which is here. Yay.

And now I’m scared and need your help. This is the question that may change my life – Would my hair look good in red or blond highlights, and wouldn’t I look stupid with layers/a ‘bomb’ haircut like Crystal/a fringe/if I changed my hair at all? Sammi and Pyro are very interested in my hair, and I need your help… D:

BingBingBing!

This is the first Pigeon Report of the year, so yay! And also, I have not given up on the story. I’m just trying to formulate  the plot.

Chapter One

The forest was flooded with dying leaves. Each step broke a few leaves and brought out a glorious crackling noise that filled the silence.

Jaybird slowly walked across the carpet of red and brown, delighting in the noise. It helped soothe his frayed nerves, but he was still shaking as he looked up at the sky. Instead of the shining sun he was so much used to, a large circular shape filled the sky. It was a deep translucent blue, so clear he could see the Avians walking and flying about, so far away from all the troubles of the world beneath. The Avians called it Receir, everyone else called it “The Floating City”.

His father was up there. His father and his older sister and brother. They were trying to trade ancient technologies from the Ages Beyond for a magical trinket or two, something they could use or give to the Naga for even better technology. Of course, Jay wasn’t worried about the trading process.

However… you heard stories about the Avians. They preformed horrible magical experiments on you or they turned you into a Felid. Or maybe, if you angered them, maybe they just chucked you off the side of the city. Or worse: they turned into birds and made fun of you as you fell… No, Jay did not like these rumours.

He continued walking through the dying woods, crunching through the fallen leaves and every so often glancing up at the floating city. It was strangely hot under the city, so hot the air made simmering dragons in the breeze. Jay watched these for a while, fascinated in the way they seemed to be almost… alive.

He was so engrossed in watching that he walked into a tree.

“Ouch!” he whimpered. Then he heard voices. Thinking fast, Jay dropped to all four paws and shifted to become more wolf-like. He hadn’t really mastered changing yet, but it was all he had at the moment. Sometimes he got stuck, though…

“Letheila, what does page one hundred and eight tell you about Air Elementals?” Jay started to snigger. Letheila, what a stupid name! Only the Avians ever gave their children weird names And this… Letheila had to learn from a textbook? He learnt from his family and from the ancient technology from the Ages Beyond. He also learnt from nature, which was much better than a textbook.

“It says… um… Air Elementals will obey all Avians and some of the Grounders.” Letheila sounded relieved, but Jay was majorly annoyed. Grounders?! Was that what the Avians called all species that lived on the Earth?

Jay growled softly under his breath. He was proud to be a Lupian. He sung the moonsongs every moon, and he listened to all the elder’s stories. He knew all the tales, and he had heard that all the other species had dropped the ancient traditions. He had did so much more than any of the deceitful Felida, and certainly a lot more than that Avian.

He bent down, almost fully wolf, ready to pounce and… then he was yanked back by the scruff.

“Do you want to expose me?” a voice hissed. “Are you sure you want yourself to be discovered, werewolf?”

Jay growled quietly and focused on changing back to his normal form. As soon as he could stand on two paws, he stood up and glared at the voice, which came from a girl. “Don’t call me werewolf!”

“Why not? Aren’t you werewolves?” the girl asked as she pulled Jay further from the teacher and her student. “Come on, werewolf.”

“That’s a foul word from the Ages Beyond, and my name is Jaybird. We are Lupians, not… werewolves!”

“Who cares? The city’s all messed up right now, and I was trying to learn about elementals until you threatened to give me away.” The girl stopped and sat down on a log, sighing. She didn’t seem angry anymore, and she looked sad. “Sorry if I offended you, sorry…”

Jay decided to change the topic. “Were you that teacher’s student?”

“No. They would never let my kind learn magic, especially me… I am an Avian, yes, but…” The girl looked up at Jay. “Everyone calls me… Althena, but you can call me Althie or…”

“Althie? That’s a weird name. You Avians have weird names, like Letheila and Althena.”

The girl gave a small smile. “Then what would you call me?”

Jay thought for a second. “You look like a… Amy to me. Or maybe Amya!”

“I like Althie better, but you can call me anything you like.” Althi- Amya (that was a much better name!) gave a small laugh, then a small choke. “I… I think I should be going. No one notices me, but I think I can hear Letheila and her teacher coming.”

“Will we see each other?” Jay asked. He was a bit lonely, it would take a while for his father to trade and none of his siblings ever played with him, so…

“Maybe. If not, I’ll find you. I always do. Bye.” And with that, she turned and ran deeper into the forest.

Jay watched her go as he slowly walked away. He expected to hear the beat of slow wingbeats and see a dark shape rise into the air, but there was nothing. Any time now, a bird would soar to the shape in the sky… but there was still nothing.

And he wondered about who Amya was, and why she didn’t become a bird.

And in other news, um… I was going to post something, but my mind blanked out! O_O Anyway, if you’ve posted and haven’t seen your comment appear yet, it’s probably in my Spam cue which I dare not check because every time I do, something happens, like the computer dying on me or a parent attack! And Hatki, if you read this, can you pleease update my blog to 2.7.1? *puppy dog grin*

Malaysia is a HOT HOT place, being in South East Asia and nearer the equator than Mel- Australia, lolz [the recent heatwave, though...]. It’s a nice place, with it’s own subspecies of cats [who can sleep in drains and haz short tails!] and relatives coming out the ears. Yeah, I got quite a bit of money from red packets.

Did you know that there are fifteen days of Chinese New Year? The eve of Chinese New Year, you have a renuion dinner. The first day, you don’t do any work or sweep anything away, lest you sweep away the good luck.You also eat vegetarian, which in Malaysia and Chinese means Mock Chicken, Mock Duck, Mock Anything, some vegetables and rice. Mock Chicken is delicious, by the way. It tastes almost like the real thing! And you get red packets on the first day. The second day is when you open the year, when you eat meat and visit people. Third day is the day when some people get to be anti-social and not visit people. Fourth day is… I forget. And we left on the fifth day.

We didn’t get to see very many Lion Dances there, but they’re always awesome. Expecially when they do all those tricks, like the stepladder thingy.

Everyone speaks Malaysian and English there. Salamat Detang is ‘welcome’, Keluar is ‘exit’ and… I dunno. I went to Malacca and that’s a nice place, with nice relatives. Apparently, there’s a ghost in one of these shopping center carparks there, a ghost of a woman in red. OoooooooOOOOh!

And I have a pet tortoise there. He’s called Tortie, which is sooo imaginative.  And, yeah. That is Malaysia. Now I will type teh weirdness that happened this morning.

This morning (I had a 9:00 appointment, so I slept in!),  I woke up and thought of a story where our reality was breaking up and people were turning into people from other realities, fictional realities. This weird and crazy girl called Eva could see into other realities, and had brought Meta Knight into our reality to protect her from something (in one version, it was the lava Digimon, in another it was Gaikoz from GC, and there were explosions). Angie, her friend, was rather freaked out.

Then, in my sleep deprived state, I brought Timbo94 into the story as a random kid in Angie’s class. Because of the breaking realities thing (and the fact I binged on Wikipedia Cardcaptor Sakura (which Timbo is obsessed about) pages and I thought that one of the characters sounded like Timbo’s last name), he  transformed into Sakura of the Cardcaptor Sakura anime and she wasn’t very happy (Kero, that winged lion/monkey/cutething was there too).

Then, after a bit, I fell asleep and alternated between a full dream and half-lucidity and I was dreaming about the story. When I was half-lucid, I could change some parts of the story but when I was dreaming I couldn’t. I was there instead of Angie (when I was asleep, when I was half-lucid I subsituted myself with Angie) .  Sakura/Timbo94 and Kero were looking for a Card  in my house, and I was on the computer. She was thinking that the card was in the walls in my house, and I was… doing something and was a little annoyed that they didn’t seem to want to talk to me. They were looking all around the house and stuff.

Then we all appeared in a carnival.  There was a giant panda ride that came to life, and Meta Knight flew up and killed it. I went on a swing ride with Sakura and Kero (which made me uncomfortable, because she was supposed to be Timbo94 but…), and we were talking about something.  We went to the panda ride which was now a tower ride. Then we went up, did some things, went down and I think I fell properly asleep.

So I think I was half-lucid (which makes this my second lucid dream, I think) and I think I know how to be half-lucid; be really sleep deprived (my brother woke us up at 5!) and really engage yourself in a thought, like a story. And I now have the urge to write a story about the whole Timbo94/Sakura thing, after I finish my True Falsity.

EDIT: I finished teh Falsity, but something’s funky with my account… The Falsity is very insane, and I am now addicted to a song I heard 100 times in Malaysia, Right Now (na na na) by Akon. So YAY.

There’s been a fewawesome things in Malaysia so far, like Iced Milos in McDonalds, and now I have to go so bye…